Julia Roberts

I am most definitely NOT a Julia Roberts fan. In fact, one of my favorite jokes goes, “Julia Roberts walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ‘Why the long face?’” To me she’s not sexy, doesn’t have a great deal of range, and her angry look just gets old.

So I didn’t think she even had ten good performances. However, in an effort to be fair and noble, I looked over her roles and actually found ten that I liked.

Julia Roberts movies I haven’t seen (and so can’t put on the list): Mystic Pizza, Steel Magnolias, Flatliners, Dying Young, Mary Reilly, Michael Collins, Runaway Bride, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Mona Lisa Smiles

THE TOP TEN JULIA ROBERTS PERFORMANCES

#10 The Mexican - She's pissy and needy, but I like the interaction with James Gandolfini

#9 Ocean's Eleven - Actually, the more I think about this one the more I hate her performance, but I don't feel like doing more research, so I’ll leave it on the list

#9 (Actual) Closer – Though I don’t like this movie, I do like Julia all nasty. She’s not that great at it, but at least she tries.

#8 Sleeping With The Enemy – I Julia left me I’d party, but I like her wounded innocence

(even in a slinky black dress, the sight of Julia makes Hyperion yearn for some Brokeback Mountain-time)

#7 Ready To Wear – Sweet and goofy, and she and Tim Robbins have great chemistry

#6 The Pelican Brief – She’s absolutely clueless, even if you buy that she’s the only one who could figure out the connection. The scene where she takes that guy’s hand right before he gets shot? Good times.

#5 Hook – I prefer jealous Julia in this film than her bitch in MBFW

#4 Everyone Says I Love you – Julia sings! She does leave Woody Allen, though, so that sucks.

#3 I Love Trouble – I’m almost ashamed to like this movie, but why can’t Hollywood make more old-fashioned movies like this, with witty banter and man vs. woman.

#2 Pretty Woman – I get pissed at this movie for glamorizing prostitution, but even I have to admit that Julia has a charm, an innocence, and dare I say it (if you repeat this I’ll deny it) a sexiness? At least from that piano scene. Hell, I even like her singing Prince in the tub. What can I say?

#1 Erin Brockovich – I remember seeing this with my dad, right before dinner at Carrabba’s (sniff sniff), and we both agreed that it was Julia’s best performance ever. (And it’s not just the push-up bra, which his itself one of the best inanimate objects in history.) Julia is crass, rude, straight-forward, and from what I can tell, gets the real Erin Brockovich dead on. And while I’d have given the Oscar that year to either girl from Crouching Tiger, they weren’t even nominated, so I can’t get too mad Julia won one.

Up next: Something Valentinsey

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