SIX SIGNS YOU SHOULD TAKE A VOW OF SILENCE
1) Your voice has been known to cause epileptic seizures...in deaf people. 
2) Dick Cheney & Bill Maher set up a 24-Hour Hotline offering counseling to people you spoke to. 
3) Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is creating a Broadway Musical ("Great Satan Get Your Gun") using your words as lyrics for the songs. 
4) Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly both call and offer to become unpaid interns. 
5) What you say ends up huting and alienating everyone you care about, leaving a trail of desolation and destruction in your wake. 
6) You're Fran Drescher. [Originally posted on TWITTER. Follow my Cruel yet Endearing Genius.]
