So, yesterday—when the news that London got the Olympics instead of Paris hit—Koz and I decided to do a “Top Ten Things Paris can do to London in Retaliation” list. Unfortunately, it appears someone has beaten us to it, and it would no longer be appropriate.
Instead, trying to be helpful, we have the:
TOP FIVE CITIES THAT WE’D LIKE TO SEE HOST THE 2012 OLYMPICS IF LONDON CAN’T DO IT*
#5 Baghdad - Just getting to your hotel alive would be worth a medal.
#4 Antarctica – They’ve totally been under-represented in the Olympics; it’s their turn. Plus, who doesn’t want to see a Penguin Pole-vault? Nobody: that’s who!
#3 Aruba – Great weather, beautiful beaches. The only problem: you know the judges will be getting away with murder.
#2 Vatican City – Little known fact: Pope Benedict XVI is the world record holder in the pommel-horse. Plus, he looks great in a leotard!
And…
#1 Las Vegas. The sights, the sounds (did we mention betting on who’d win), a drunken Wayne Newton lighting the torch with his breath; what’s not to love. The only problem? You know the rules: all the medals have to stay in Vegas.
* This Top Five List is dedicated to the hard working wankers and gits of London-town. Seriously, homies: we got your back. Keep fightin'!
