It’s the one year anniversary of a year ago, and in honor of that, I thought I’d make today’s list about Sears. No, nothing with Bob Villa or some tribute to Garanimals, I thought I would list the top five people I wish I could see “the softer side” of.
#5 RICHARD SIMMONS – A stone-cold mutha from the Old School, I respect “the Chard” and how he keeps it real. But would it hurt to lighten up just a bit?
#4 50 (FITTY) CENT – Here’s my favorite Fitty Cent story (actually, it’s my only story, but still my favorite): I heard on the radio that Fitty watched MEAN GIRLS and fell in love with Lindsay Lohan. Now, as hard as it is to believe that combo, I can buy it. Remember, this was before Lindsay lost all that….weight (you know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout). What I can’t fathom is Fitty sitting all the way through MEAN GIRLS.
#3 MARTHA STEWART – Rumor has it her cellmate, “Ice-pick,” already saw the softer side, but no confirmation when Miss M. and I talked last.
#2 TUPAC SHAKUR – ‘Pac, baby: you’ve put out 19 records since you were shot. Stop and smell the flowers on your grave. Relax; you’ve earned it1
and…
#1 JOSEPH STALIN – I can totally see him in a buddy movie with Dakota Fanning. He starts off stern and unwavering, but she works her magic on him, and by the end he’s giving the kid those tummy-raspberry kisses. Good times.
