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April Seventeen

Did you know that “seventeen” is a swear word in Sweden? Seriously. Look it up. And speaking of looking things up (because frankly, you could stand to know a lot more than you do), I thought I would bring you the 17 most interesting people born on April 17, complete with Wikipedia links to each, for you edumacational purposes.


Dishonorable Mention - Željko Ražnatović – He was a Serbian paramilitary soldier, and almost certainly guilty of war atrocities, which cannot be overlooked. However, in his favor: A) at least he was not a Croat and B) he photographs himself with a tiger!

#17 Boomer Esiason – He’s terrible as a CBS pregame guy, but I loved him when he played.

#16 Victoria Beckham – She is a mortal lock to sleep with Jack Nicholson when her marriage breaks up.

#15 Taksin – Was an emperor in Thailand. Deposed after he went crazy and executed everyone who would not worship him as a future Buddha. Later became a statue.

#14 Nick Hornby – Novelist who wrote High Fidelity, About a Boy and Fever Pitch, which was apparently originally about soccer. (I am currently reading High Fidelity, and it is every bit as good as the awesome movie.)

#13 Chavela Vargas – Costa Rican singer, who always wears a loaded gun and a red sombrero on stage. I know nothing else about the woman, but look at her!

#12 Rowdy Roddy Piper – Anyone who can put a man in a headlock while wearing a kilt, and look good doing it goes on my list.

#11 Giovanni Battista Riccioli – Was the first dude to measure the acceleration of a freely falling body. I have been trying to work out a crude joke pun on that all morning, but as he was a Jesuit, I will forego.

#10 Redman – If only for his involvement with Dirrty, but also because for some inexplicable reason I always find myself watching ten minutes or so whenever HOW HIGH comes on MTV.

#9 Thornton Wilder – The dude won three Pulitzers. I can’t even get people to click on Literary Hype, and the dude won three Pulitzers. (If you are only going to read one, skip Our Town and go straight for The Bridge of San Luis Rey. Great meditation on the nature of evil.)

#8 Samuel Chase – Signed the Declaration of Independence AND sat on the Supreme Court. Plus, Angela in My So-Called Life? His great-great-great-great-great-great granddaughter.

#7 Senor Wences – Johnny was classic by my favorite was the dude in the box. Pedro, right? “S’awright.”

#6 J.P. Morgan – I did a report on this dude in high school. If you factor in inflation: more money than God.

#5 Nikita Khrushchev – Easily the cutest dictator of the 20th Century. Couldn’t you just eat him up?

#4 Sean Bean – Anyone—and I mean ANYONE—who can sit through "I would have would have followed you, my brother... my captain... my king." without bawling is dead to me.

#3 Jennifer Garner – Although it ended with a whimper, I have a lot of love for those first two and a half electric seasons of Alias. I have also liked Jennifer in every movie so far. In fact, she would be battling for #1 if it were not for her marriage.

#2 Liz Phair – I was late to the party, but I totally got into the Fekenrun era. (Like how I did that?) Unlike some pretentious prigs, I was totally down with her shift to more glamorized pop, too. In my book, Liz is the fairest of the phair.

And the #1 most interesting person born on April 17 is….

#1 William Holden – When you look at his career, how can this even be an argument? I could do an entire Top Ten list just on William Holden movies. Actually, that is not a bad idea…..(stay tuned!)