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Put Tracy Lynn In Charge

In honor of Tracy Lynn's birthday, and in view of her, um, uniqute talents, I have compiled a Top Five List of things

Tracy Lynn Should be in Charge of:

#5 The Cartoon Network - Who here doesn't think TL could overhaul it and throw out the crappy cartoons, and possibly split the Channel into a Kids' and full-time Adult version? I for one would pay HBO prices for a Cartoon Network run by her.

#4 Bitch-Slapping Idiots - When I rule the world, this will be a full-time cabinet level position. First up: those idiot parents of that poor boy they found last week who keep dragging him on every show imaginable. Cock your wrist, TL.

#3 Finding bin Laden - It's the perfect bait: If the Bocacious Rack can't draw bin Laden out of hiding, nothing can.

#2 Running Haiti - Seriously: someone needs to help those poor people. I can't think of anyone with a better combination of compassion/tough love than our girl.


#1 Ninja - Every since Diana died the Ninja have been leaderless. The time has come, Tracy Lynn. Now more than ever, the Ninja need you. Will you accept the call?

Happy Birhtday, TL, and I hope to see all of you again soon.