Get Paid To Promote, Get Paid To Popup, Get Paid Display Banner

Preakness Names

The 2010 Preakness Stakes has come and gone, and while Lookin at Lucky is an okay Horse Name (would have felt more 2010-y if they'd used the @ sign, right?), it's certainly not the best.

Thank the soft sweet my little pony we have me.

Much as I did for the Kentucky Derby, I have gone through and looked at the names of every Preakness winner, and have heroically compiled the best for your entertainment below.

There were a few horse names that I used in my Derby list (because they won both, duh....) that I did not reuse here (but would have!) - Alysheba, Assault, Gallant Fox, Majestic Prince, Seattle Slew, Sunday Silence, War Admiral, War Emblem, Whirlaway

And I have one Dishonorable Mention, quite possibly the worst racehorse name I've yet come across: Burgoo King (1932 winner).  

Note: some of these horses are from millions of years ago, before photography was big (and for all I know, before sight), and finding their pictures proved impossible.  In these cases I strove to find the picture that best captured the "spirit" of their names.  I think you will agree I did an awesome job. 

And without further ado.....


Smarty Jones (2004) - Normally I hate names like this, but somehow it clicked for me. 

Canonero II  (1971) - I picked this because of the it was a vehicle in the Simpsons!

#14 (tie)  Louis Quatorze (1996) and Knght of Ellerslie (1884) and Duke of Magenta (1878)  - One historical, one mythical and (Admit it; in your heart of hearts, you didn't know "Magenta" existed before hippies, did you?)

#13  Rachel Alexandra (2009) - Sounds like a gorgeous princess.  I'd ride that filly!

#11 (tie) The Bard (1886) and Montague (1890)  - Gotta love these 19th Century literary horse owners! (And if you don't know who Montague is, hang your head in shame!) 

Bonus List: 
Top 7 
"Preakness Stakes" 

7) Ken's Pasta's Reeks 

6) Senate Asks Perks
5) Ska's Pet Sneakers

4) Teak Sparks Sense

3) Skeet Prank Asses

2) Tsar Keeps Snakes

1) Satan Seeks Perks

#10  Harold (1879) - How can you not love a horse named Harold?  You just HAVE to love him, right?

#9  Point Given (2001) - I admit that Point Given is not the greatest name in the history of the Universe, but it's the most impressive horse I have ever seen race live, so screw off! (Look how big that horse is! I bet Hyperion could even be his jockey.  Dare to have a dream....)

#8  Rhine Maiden (1915) - The world needs more Rhine Maidens.  (Or at least I do) (By the way, when I did a google image search for "Rhine Maiden, this picture came up. So, you know, count yourself lucky I didn't go with it.  It's repulsive...yet I can't look away!)

#7  Jack Hare (1918) - I like this name. Simple, yet conveys ultimate speed. (The only thing better at conveying the idea of ultimate speed?  "Crystal Meth"  Let's hope Courtney Love gets a racehorse some day so this can happen.)

#6  Saunterer (1881) - Conversely, while you like a name that conveys speed, it's also bad-ass to give your horse a name like Saunterer.  That's a Keith Hernandez moment right there. "My horse is so awesome that he can saunter and still beat you like a red-headed stepchild!" (By the way, would you ever Ever bet on a horse called Red-headed Stepchild? Me neither.  You just know they're gonna get beat! Might as well bet on French Army while you're at it!)

#5  Flocarline (1903) - I have no idea what Flocarline even means, but she sounds gorgeous.  I'm not ashamed to admit I spent almost an hour trying to come up with the right picture that you buzzed by in .3 seconds. Look at it some more!!!

#4  Kalitan (1917) - Another majestic-sounding name.  These turn-of-the-century boys had pizazz! 

#3  Tabasco Cat (1994) - I think it would be cool to put some Tabasco on a cat and see how it reacts.  Cats are such adaptable creatures that I'm sure it'd go over just fine. 

#2  Summer Squall (1990) - There's not a sentence in the world that isn't improved with the word "squall" in it.  Go ahead, try it!

and the number one name for a Preakness-winning Horse is......

#1  Man o' War (1920) - Named the greatest horse of the 20th Century, you have to believe that part of it (beyond the 4848493 victories) was such a sweet name. Fast is good. Ironic is good. Funny is good, but sitting on a horse and feeling like you're headed into battle?  Sign me up.


Hyperion's List of Best Derby Names

Hyperion's List of Best Horsey Movies

Talk about Lookin at Lucky.....

Go to Rank Everything Home Page

Go to the HYPERION INSTITUTE Home Page (now with Dragons!)