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That Which does not suck

Top Five things most impossible to do while mad

#5 Eating Taffy – You truly cannot be upset while eating taffy (and I’m a man who loves his taffy)

#4 Looking at Marty Feldman – There might be funnier people in history. But there has never been a funnier-looking person. I defy anyone to be in a bad mood and watch Feldman just stand there. You can’t do it.

#3 Watching a Man get hit in the groin with a football - It works on so many levels!

#2 Jumping up and down in one of those inflatable castle things - I have only gotten to do this once, in London. Ever since we came to the States they said I was too big. Nonetheless, the one time I got to was the funnest thing EVER, and all the kids I see jumping up and down at carnivals are having a blast.


#1 Listening to a good Banjo song - I tell you the truth: “Foggy Mountain Breakdown” could bring us world peace.

And because you always get 10 items every day (it’s a rule I just made up: go with it), here’s a bonus List

Top Five List of Witches

#5 Ursula the Sea-Witch (from LITTLE MERMAID) - She was evil, she had tentacles, and she could sing!

#4 Samantha (from BEWITCHED) - Forget the lame remake, go back to the first true feminist, and more importantly, she was hot!

#3 Wendy (from CASPER) - I loved her little red outfit, but I could never find one in my size.

#2 Hermione (from HARRY POTTER) – Harry may be a wizard, but she cast a spell over me.


#1 Chipwich – They take two chocolate chip cookies, frozen, and put ice cream between it, and then cover the outside of the ice cream with more chocolate chips. Mmmmmm…..Bewiching.