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In conjunction with Monkey Barn's big Super Bowl Party Recipe Extravaganza (SBPRE), I wanted to do a football related top ten list. However, it was a lot harder than I thought. Still, I came up with a few gems. Feel free to print them out and then impress your friends with your arcane knowledge. Chicks love that stuff.


#10 Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental. ~Doug Plank

#9 You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four. ~Dan Birdwell

#8 Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
John F. Kennedy [Didn't this describe his entire life?]

#7 The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public. ~Phyllis Diller

#6 If you're mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It's about the same. ~Bob Golic

#5 When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team. ~George Raveling

#4 The American people are sheep. They're comfortable, rich, working. It's like the Romans, they're happy with bread and their spectator sports. The Super Bowl means more to them than any right. - Jack Kevorkian

#3 Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our Alamo. ~Tony Kornheiser

#2 Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it. ~Luke Salisbury

And our #1 football quote involves a quarterback explaining how Ned Flanders led him to the Lord....

#1 An athlete : Ned Flanders here showed me that there is more to playing football and sleeping with lingerie models.
Homer [murmuring] : Professional athletes! Always wanting more.

I expect you to use that some time during the big game! Enjoy the recipes and your weekend.