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See ya!

I am going on vacation for a while. If you're new to this site, there are 30 ranking lists to look through. Have at it. If you're a regular, chill for a bit. I'll be back.

But for now the Top Ten things I will be doing on Vacation

#10 Studiously avoiding the telephone - I hate the telephone. I don't understand why I have to answer it. So I'm not going to.

#9 Catch up on Spring TV - Yes, I'm THAT behind. I quit watching most TV in March or April and started taping things for when I would be less busy. When is that supposed to happen? Screw it, I'm plugging back in with Wisteria Lane and the the Bait Shop.

#8 Answering every letter in my InBox - Why would a guy on vacation do this, you ask? Two reasons. One, hate seeing hundreds of emails every time I log on. Two, you cannot imagine the number of stupid ill-thought out letters I get. For the most part I try to be diplomatic and user-friendly. Forget that. I'm going on the warpath.

#7 Re-reading Harry Potter and The Wheel of Time - I can't think of anything better than this, no matter how long it takes, so by gar I'm gonna.

#6 Preparing witty insults for al the morons I encounter each day - I am so tired of worrying if people like me. I don't like them. Why should I care if they like me? I'm not looking for trouble, but if people want to bring it, I'm ready. (Are you sensing a theme here?)

#5 Graitch - 'nuff said. Don't have enough money for beef jerky, but I can and will have graitch.

#4 Get involved in at least one hare-brained adventure - I want to start my first column in September with the words "So there I was naked, armed only with a bull whip, facing an entire gang of Russian Mafia...."

#3 Relaunch HyperionX - It is time to burn the Internet to the ground, baby.

#2 Break the record for consumption in at least three restaurants - you're just lucky I don't drink.

and the number one thing I will be doing on my vacation...

#1 Turning 10

Up next: Check back in September